


Full Metal Tuxedo

by delphia2000



Series: The Snow Series [6]
Category: Kung Fu: The Legend Continues
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-26
Updated: 2010-05-26
Packaged: 2017-10-09 17:52:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/90003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delphia2000/pseuds/delphia2000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kermit hates tuxedos and this little story explains why. Set in my Snow series, fits in between Snow 2 & 3. A little sexier than my usual but still pretty PG compared to other fanfics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Full Metal Tuxedo

He liked the late-night streets when the rain had washed them fresh and the human flotsam of the dark had scurried away to hide from the downpour. It was still early for the city's usual nighttime shenanigans as he pulled out into light traffic, headed for home. He'd had the office pretty much to himself which suited his mood after telling Snow he had to work late when she called to let him know that Peter had arrived to pick her up. It was a lie because he'd been doing work that could have been put off until tomorrow. He trusted Peter like he trusted no one else to escort his wife to a social affair that he'd refused to attend himself. However, that didn't mean he wanted to watch her dressed to the nines and walking off with a younger, trim and handsome man who didn't mind climbing into a tuxedo.

His co-workers thought he just hated tuxedos. Truth was, he feared them. Every time he got into one, hell opened up and spewed evil in his path. Marriages that had ended up in divorce, parties that had turned into bloodbaths, celebrations that had become disasters; every formal incident cursed with misfortune. Eventually, he took the hint.

When Snow had informed him that The Fireman's Ball would be 'black tie,' he'd offered to attend in his usual attire, but she said she didn't mind if he didn't want to go. After all, he'd already come to her formal graduation ceremony where she'd been given her degree and her accreditation as an EMT III, Advanced Level. The ball was a charity event and, while all the newly enlisted EMT's were expected to attend, it wasn't a requirement. That's when they had called to see if Peter would be free that night and Caine had been happy to have the chance to dress up and go out.

The hotel was only a block away, he thought, as the lime-green Corvair squealed tires on wet pavement when he turned onto the main thoroughfare. Almost before he realized what he was doing, he'd turned off to pull up at the back entrance of the large, multi-storied hotel building. He parked in a loading zone and slipped in the back door, through the maintenance entrance. The security office was just inside the door.

"I hope you're planning on moving that slime-green monstrosity soon, Griffin," came a rough voice from the darkened surveillance room.

The man's profile glowed from the light of the monitor screens that were stacked in front of him. There was no mistaking the contour of that nose. "What do you care, Rafe? Unless you're getting some late night deliveries you want to explain?"

Kermit sauntered into the room. He'd known Rafe for years, and had occasionally considered going to work for the same security agency. The money aspect was always tempting. But they still had to work within the legal system so it wasn't all that different from what he'd been doing. And, for the most part, it was a lot more boring; mostly nights like Rafe's, sitting in front of surveillance equipment.

"What brings you around tonight, Detective? Should I be expecting trouble?"

"No. Just wanted to check up on some friends. They're in the main ballroom."

"Fireman's Ball? You slumming, Griffin?" the man grinned at him as he turned back to the desk and fiddled with some switches. "Here you go."

Half a dozen screens brought up views of the crowded ballroom. Kermit searched carefully for a minute, then pointed to one screen. "Can you bring this one up?"

The camera zoomed in to focus on two women chattering away while a tall figure stood next to them, sipping from a champagne glass and holding a plate of appetizers which both ladies raided now and then. "Wow, that's quite a babe," Rafe commented.

Snow looked beautiful in her soft, but conservative dress she'd bought for the occasion. He'd seen the dress but hadn't seen it on her. She was sweetly, subtly sexy in the pale green chiffon number with the full skirt and crisscrossed bodice. Kermit was ready to take Rafe's head off for that babe comment but the man continued. "Too bad she's a gook."

You couldn't have gone to Viet Nam without learning that word, however offensive it was. Still, not too many were thoughtless enough to continue using it. He couldn't blame Rafe, but the word still rubbed him the wrong way. "Might want to join the millennium and drop the politically incorrect derogatives, old pal. You're dating yourself. Besides, you're annoying your friends and you don't have that many of us left to spare," Kermit chastised him softly, in a tone that he could see Rafe understood.

"Sorry. Old habits die hard."

The Asian woman Snow was chatting with was beautiful in a classic sense, her slim figure contrasting with Snow's lush curves. Kermit realized that Peter was staring at the woman, almost as if mesmerized. It dawned on him there was a chance Snow was playing matchmaker here.

"Thanks, Rafe. I just wanted to check on them."

"You want I should keep an eye on them?"

A plan began to form. It wouldn't hurt to have backup. "Sure. Catch me next time you're in Delancy's and I'll stand you to a beer."

"Deal. See ya later."

Sooner than you think, thought Kermit. He put the pedal to the metal all the way home. It was courting disaster, he knew. But he had Peter and Rafe there for backup. It was time to break this unholy curse, one way or another.

The suit was in a storage closet, tucked neatly away in a proper fabric bag. It had been stylish and very expensive when he bought it. Now, some 30 years later, it was vintage and even more in vogue. It still fit. Mostly. A little snug in the middle but not bad, he decided as he deliberated his figure in the mirror. He left the jacket open. For a moment, he considered leaving the accessories home. With a sigh, he picked up the DE and tucked it into the back waistband of the red cummerbund. "Never leave home without it," he commented to Radar as he patted her on the head. "Stay, girl. Guard the house. And stay out of the trash basket or I'll use you for target practice, got it?"

It was starting to rain again as he pulled away from the house. Well, he was planning on using the valet parking anyway and that area was covered.

~~~~

Peter was besotted, Snow was sure. He and Dr. Tien Yi were deep in conversation about what each felt were the greatest needs in Chinatown for the impoverished who lived there. She considered just excusing herself to the ladies room but Tien might want to go with her if she suggested that. Besides, she was bored. What she should just admit was that she wanted to be in her own quiet little home with her husband who fascinated her endlessly.

They'd been married for over six months now and she was still learning about who and what he really was. Sometimes it was frightening. Mostly it was exciting.

"Peter," she interrupted. "I hope you don't mind, but I think I'd like to go home. I'm getting a bit of a headache."

Peter looked at her strangely. She had given him her old signal that her 'gift' was overwhelming her. It was a tiny white lie, she assured herself. She hadn't lost control in, well, weeks at least.

"Let me get your coat, then.." he started but she put a hand to his arm, stopping him.

"Look, there's no need for you to leave. It wouldn't be fair of me to spoil your evening. I can just take a taxi home. They sit right out front and Kermit's probably waiting up for me anyway. Besides, you need to make connections here. There are a lot of important people here who just need to know where their money would do the most good. And I'm sure you can direct a few dollars to those you know who are in need before Tien takes them all for her clinic."

She smiled at her friend. Tien had been in her first EMT class years ago but found a true calling in medicine and was now a pediatric specialist at County part time. The rest of the time, she ran a free clinic in Chinatown. It was amazing she'd never run into Peter, but she'd had some experience with his Pop a time or two.

"I'm willing to share since we both have the people's needs in common," Tien assured him.

"Let me at least walk you out then," Peter insisted.

Tien was a catch. The moment Peter left her, some other discerning and available man would move in. There was no way Snow was going to let all her hard work go to waste. It had taken her at least a month to figure out how to get these two together. "Oh, for pity's sake, Peter. Now you're starting to sound like my paranoid husband. I'm a big girl, this is a very public place and the nice doorman will see me into a taxi," she informed him. "You two have a good time and I'll see the Murdoch Foundation matches the funds of whomever gets the least amount of money pledged to them."

Tien laughed. "Well, I have a couple thousand already, so tag, you're it, Peter Caine."

Snow gracefully exited and after handing over her coat check in exchange for her coat, went down the hall to the main lobby. It was late and, apparently, they didn't have a doorman assigned in the evenings. Well, still not a problem, she considered. The taxis were lined up just down the way, beyond the valet parking and it was well lit. Too bad it was raining.

Adjusting the tiny evening purse, she slipped her coat just over her shoulders. It was too warm to put it on all the way and this way she could hold the collar up over her hair a bit. It would be a shame for the rain to ruin all the hairdressers hard work before her husband got a chance to see it. She stepped briskly out into the downpour and headed for the first taxi in the line up. Snow failed to notice her husband's outrageously hued Corvair as it pulled up. She also failed to notice the man who slunk in the shadows at the side of the building, close to the alleyway. As she approached the taxi, the man darted out, saying loudly, "Let me get that for you, ma'am."

As if stretching for the taxi door with one hand, he reached with the other for her arm. Then, suddenly he was pushing her into the door he'd failed to open, forcing her against the taxi as he grabbed her evening bag, snapping the delicate chain strap in two.

Snow fought back as best she could, but the man surprised her and the way he had her pinned up against the vehicle, her draped coat was trapping her arms. He gave her one last shove and was turning back towards the alley when a dark figure bowled him over, taking him down onto the wet pavement. Struggling, they ended up with the figure in black on top, a small canon strategically shoved almost up the mugger's nostril. "Give me a reason, you scumbag," Kermit snarled.

Kermit got to his feet, jerking the miscreant up with him, then slamming the man into the hotel wall. "Stay put," he ordered, "I'm a cop and you're under arrest."

He snatched the purse from the man's hand and held it out to Snow. "Where's Peter?" he asked.

"Inside," Snow answered, taking her purse back. "I was just going to take a taxi home.."

Two security men burst out from the lobby, but they slowed as they caught sight of Kermit holding his gun to the back of the man's head. Kermit lowered his gun and, taking a handful of jacket, shoved the man towards the officers. "Call the 101st to pick him up," he instructed, "and tell them Detective Griffin will file papers on him in the morning. And tell Rafe I said thanks."

As they took him away, Kermit shoved his gun back into it's usual place and took his wife's arm to lead her away. She held back. "What are you doing here?" she asked quietly, "Not that I'm complaining. Just wondering."

He shrugged. "Thought I'd join the party."

The rain was drenching them but Snow didn't care. She reached up to touch the badly tied red bowtie that was slowly staining his shirt, as was the wet cummerbund, making him look for all the world like he'd been soaked in blood. "Was this for me?"

"It certainly wasn't for my benefit," he answered her grimly.

Then, as if realizing how he sounded, he pulled her into his arms. "This suit has a reputation for evil. I was trying to see if maybe tonight I could break the curse, but it seems to be as bad as ever."

She shook her head slowly. "I'm fine. You're okay. One more bad guy off the streets. I'd say, if there was any curse on it, it's gone now."

"Good. Maybe I can burn it safely now," he threatened.

"That'll be some trick with it as wet as it is," Snow grinned at him. "You're all wet too, Griffin."

He swiped at the mop of unruly hair that was dribbling water behind his sunglasses. "No kidding. So are you, swamp rat. Or were you going for a raised-from-the-Titanic look here?" he teased.

"Can I ride in your car anyway?"

"Sure. Let's go home."

The valet had been holding the car for them as Kermit had requested when he surged out to rescue his wife from the mugger. He gave the boy a generous tip and thanked him for radioing security although Rafe had probably already seen what was happening.

"I'm still going to have words with Caine," he grumbled. "He should have seen you safely out."

"He was going to but I tricked him into staying. It's my fault, but you have to admit, it was pretty unusual. Nice neighborhood, well lit. Valets and taxi drivers right there. The guy had nerve."

"I'll be sure to compliment him when he's being arraigned tomorrow. Unless you want to come in and tell him in person.."

"Stop being so snotty. It was not that big a deal."

"It'd be a big enough deal if he'd blown you away for fighting back, now wouldn't it? I told you, it's only money. Anyone wants your purse, you GIVE it to them."

Snow sniffed as she looked away from him. "It was the principal of it."

"Principals are for people who don't mind dying for them. Don't make me carve on your headstone, "She Had Principals," okay?"

She could hear what was really behind the lecture. He'd been scared for her. Snow reached over to lay a familiar hand on his thigh. "I'm sorry. It was just a reaction. I wouldn't have followed him down that alley, honest. And please, don't take it out on Peter."

He appeared to be soothed a little in spite of the wet hen look to him. "Okay. We won't mention it to him. Wouldn't want to spoil his evening with that new lady you set him up with."

"How did you....?"

"Same way the security chief knew to send his bully boys out front. Security cameras everywhere."

"I'm not surprised. Did you happen to wire my under-things too, so you had sound?"

"No. Couldn't be sure you would wear any."

Snow laughed. "I'm always properly dressed around other people. You're the one who flusters me into forgetting my panties, mister."

"Forget? On purpose maybe. To make me crazy."

She cuddled up to his arm as far as the seat belt would let her. "You like it."

He grinned at her. "Oh, yeah."

Snow pushed her coat off her shoulders and began to tug at the sopping wet hem of her dress. Kermit glanced over, saying, "Hey, you're getting my seat covers all wet. Wetter."

"Uh huh," Snow agreed. "Just wanted to get out of these wet things."

Kicking off her shoes, she peeled out of her pantyhose and arched her back to give her room to reach further up under her skirt. She dragged out a pair of damp, silky panties and hung them up on the rear view mirror. "That seems an appropriate spot to dry them, don't you think?"

He drove a bit faster, pulling straight into the garage when they got home. She let him open her door for her, exiting the car right into his arms for a damp, steamy kiss. "I've a good mind to drag you into the back seat, lady, but I've got enough explaining to do to my detailer when he sees those seat covers," he told her gruffly.

She giggled and, pulling from his arms, tossed her panties into his face and ran for the door, making it as far as the hallway before he caught up to her. He pinned her up against the wall for another long, sucking kiss that left her breathless. Radar was there to greet them, getting underfoot as she demanded attention but they patted her quickly and sent her to go lay down.

"This needs to go," Snow told him as she pulled at the wet cummerbund that was still running dye into his shirt. "You look like the Godfather made you an offer you couldn't refuse."

He shrugged out of the jacket, dragging one reluctant sleeve off him before tossing it rudely to the floor. Rescuing the DE from his waistband, he set it carefully down, away from the wet clothing. The tie resisted him but finally released as Snow unhooked the cummerbund. He ripped off the shirt next, studs flying like tiny bullets and dropped it onto the sodden jacket. She reached up to take his sunglasses off and tossed them onto the pile. Then he pushed her gently back up against the wall and took possession of her mouth again.

"Wouldn't the bedroom be more comfortable?" she asked, panting slightly when he finally let her breathe.

"Uh huh," he assented, "but it's too far away."

"It was just a thought," she smiled and pulled him back down for another kiss as she shut out any other thought about the rest of the world for a while.

They were both panting and still dripping, this time with sweat when he let her slide down to set her gently on the floor again. He leaned one shoulder on the wall to support himself, keeping his arms wrapped around her as she nuzzled his chest. "I never wanted to feel this much," he told her quietly, "but I do. So, please, keep yourself safe."

"I love you. I'll never choose to leave you, I promise," she sighed and she pulled him down for one more soft, sweet kiss.

They held each other until their breathing returned to normal and then she asked, "Do you want me to soak that shirt and try to save it?"

He shook his head. "No. Let it dry where it is and tomorrow, I'm really going to burn the damned thing."

"It's a shame. You really do look good in a tux, love," she told him regretfully.

"Okay, so we buy me a new one. And I'll wear it just for you," he offered.

She grinned up at him, "Perhaps I'd better not make you a tempting target for predatory females. I like you naked better anyway."

"That will give some new meaning to the next Fireman's Ball. I can see the headlines now."

Snow giggled, "Well, we have a whole year to figure out where you're going to keep your gun. I suppose there's always duct tape. Or I can think of one place you could shove it."

He laughed. "Wouldn't be the first time I've had that particular suggestion. Although I may have to punish you for that."

"Fine, but in the bedroom where we can get dry and comfortable?" she asked over her shoulder, encouraging him down the hall.

"Oh, yeah," and he scooped up his gun and glasses to follow.

The End


End file.
